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I Would Like to Shoot the Quack

From Wilma in the Valley

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I Would Like to Shoot the Quack

Our neighbor Vance turned bitter
in his last years
and vented his feelings
on anyone within hearing

"Don't give up anything you crave"
he ranted
"like coffee--
if you love the stuff
the way I do
keep a pot going all the time
bacon and eggs
eat 'em every day you live

"I would still like to shoot the quack
who convinced my wife
that this combination
would clog arteries and lead
to an early death

"I didn't really have to shoot him
He keeled over with a heart attack
clogged arteries at fifty-three
too much oat bran and broccoli
"How I miss all the good stuff
I could have had those long years:
I hope that quack spends Purgatory
in pork rinds"

Notes


McDaniel, Wilma. (2001) Borrowed Coats. Hanging Loose Press, Brooklyn, New York.
Courtesy University of California, Merced Library. Copyright owned by the Regents of the University of California.